It is with hesitation that I share this blog with you, as at times it feels voyeuristic reading it, but she writes so I read.
I have it delivered to my e-mail inbox and read the posts the moment that they arrive.
I have even tried to respond to some of her posts through the comments box.
I won't disrespect the author by referring to her with cliches, you will know why if you read her blog.
I regard her with awe and read her words with such mixed emotions each time.
This particular post stuck with me and reminded me of a scary experience that I had with Faith. We were on holiday in beautiful Ayreshire in Scotland in a caravan. Faith was five months old. She was sleeping in amid all the noise of a toddler sister roaring around, our dog barking and the clanking of a cooked breakfast on the go. I went o check on her and my heart stopped. She was a yellow waxy colour, unnaturally still and with her head turned to one side, her neck over-relaxed. I snatched her up and burst into racking tears at the same time. She started and began to cry and we cried together. Dewi was really perplexed and didn't know why we were both crying. I couldn't speak, I was so scared, I thought what every mother fears the most, what Dana has to confront every day now. It was OK for us, but it makes me cry just thinking about it. Watching your baby sleep is one of the joys of motherhood - I keep Idris close and watch him every time, and I'm thankful for my blessings.
I have always prayed for others but this is the first time that I prayed with such intensity for someone that I have never known.
Dana you are in my prayers and thoughts, every day.